Nowadays we communicate more and more through Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, e- mail and all other possible media. Our hands and fingers are working at the speed of light; it is amazing to see how fast people use their smartphone or IPad to answer an incoming message. 

On the other hand, it is frightening to see that we are starting to miss that same speed and depth in our verbal communications. We are no longer used to everyday verbal conversations, since a huge part of our verbal communication has been replaced by written communication. This process is going on and accelerating, and as a result we are connecting less with others in ways that ensure the best outcomes for our relationships, our teams, and our organization’s future success.

At the present moment, in our business society, we need to start cherishing face-to-face communication again and be more conversationally effective in order to find excellent solutions for upcoming challenges. Unfortunately, we are getting less conversationally intelligent at it, or am I wrong?

I do not focus on basic communication skills; my focus right now is on facilitation skills. The skills we need to deploy, to obtain that a group of people around a table – I prefer a round table – searches for new ways, new solutions, new highways, new insights, new possibilities to face the future challenges.

We need to refocus our attention on not losing these “mastery skills”. We need to reinforce them and bring these skills up to another level. In doing so, we will create even better solutions.

What are these Conversational Intelligence Facilitation Skills? These are key abilities that empower people to stimulate better discussions. We call them Conversational Essentials and they include:

• Priming for Trust
• Asking questions for which we have no answers 
• Listen to connect
• Sustain conversational agility (reframing, refocusing and redirecting the discussion) 

In addition to our Conversational Essentials, the following skills are extraordinarily valuable, especially if you are in the role of a Conversational Facilitator:

• Stating the objective and the program for the facilitation journey clearly
• Putting people at ease from the start
• Making it safe for everyone to express his/her opinion
• Watching the pulse and speed of the discussion and adapt if necessary
• Sticking to the program
• Parking non relevant topics
• Showing directness and assertiveness if needed
• Focusing on time and results
• Involving everyone in the discussion
• Professional note taking
• Handling conflict, agree to disagree
• Keeping your emotions in the fridge for some moments 
• Sticking to your role as a facilitator

The good news is that these skills are all learnable abilities! My advice: become a Master in Conversational Intelligence Facilitation in your company, your club, or your community, and it will help everybody around you.

I will explore this topic further in the next article: what to do before facilitating a discussion? If you want more information, please click on the following link.

Did you experience the same shift from verbal to written communication? What are your personal strategies to cope with these changes? I would love to learn from you and I wish you great joy in learning or refining these skills!